Thursday, October 9, 2008

only in the white neighborhoods...

Champa is my dog. Not my homie or my ace, but literally my dog. He's a 14 year old male Lhaso Apso with the trademark under bite. Interestingly, men that have those exact characteristics seem to have the most confidence and are quite attracted to me. Champa has toured with me all over the states and is one of the most well mannered dogs I've ever been around. Yet, he is still a dog and is treated as such: He does not have a Louis Vuitton doggie bag to accompany me to the trendy LA hot spots for lunch. He eats regular dog food and does not sleep in the bed with me. Ever. He is not allowed on the furniture and will not stare down house guests while they are trying to eat. That said you would think I'm within the black dog owners guidelines. But according to the "neighborhood standard", I'm out of pocket just a bit. The mere fact that he's inside my home is a violation, as most dogs stay outdoors and are lucky to have a dog house.
Another violation was brought to my attention when he went into my neighbor Renny's yard and decided to relieve himself. I greeted Renny with a plastic bag in hand and without hesitation I curbed my dog, which is a fancy term for picking up dog crap. Renny laughed and said, "I only see that done in the white neighborhoods". He was so tickled he had to tell his wife and they just came undone. I officially became Kim "Cosby Kid" Hill.